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Partnership in old age – this is how relationships stay strong

Partnership in old age – this is how relationships stay strong

Love and partnership are by no means tied to a certain age. Many people dream of spending their old age happily with their partner . Whether it is a lifelong relationship or a new great love – the partnership in old age is something very special. Even if they have some H CHALLENGES entails, it is worth it to you to work, because a healthy relationship enhances the quality of life and overall well-being.

Maintaining the relationship in old age

Couples who have been together for several decades have experienced a lot together – that welds together and provides a solid foundation for a partnership in old age. You know your partner very well and you know what is important to him or her. But habit quickly turns into daily grind: your career is over, the children have long been out of the house and, in addition to all the qualities that you appreciate in your significant other, the traits that tend to bother you are all too well known. Find out here how relationships flourish again in old age and how the partnership becomes stronger than ever .

Partnership in old age

Triggers for relationship problems in old age

In your imagination, growing old together was more romantic and beautiful than it is in reality? The aging process and the changes that come with it pose many challenges to relationships . Of course, this does not apply to every partnership in old age. For couples facing relationship problems, the reasons for the difficulties can usually be traced back to age-related changes :

  • Different changes in the daily routine and sleep rhythm
  • Physical changes in one or both partners, often due to hormones
  • Different needs for rest
  • Proximity and distance become unbalanced
  • No shared hobbies and interests
  • Different needs for sexual tenderness
  • One of the partners “lets go”, the other suffers from it
  • Inequalities in the distribution of daily tasks or feelings of being patronized
  • Lack of topics to talk about
  • Living side by side instead of living together
  • One or both partners need help and care

Even if these relationship and marital problems appear less unusual in old age, it is important to work on them proactively – for a healthy partnership in old age .

Tips for a happy partnership in old age

happy relationship in old age gives joy and security , because loneliness is a problem that many seniors have to struggle with. This is counteracted with a strong partnership.

These tips will help maintain a strong partnership in old age or build a healthy new relationship :

  • Rediscover old hobbies together or find new interests together.
  • Focus on the present, live life in the here and now .
  • Take time for one another, common rituals enhance love in old age.
  • Mutual respect is the be-all and end-all, the basis with which you can quickly resolve disagreements – listen to your partner and respond to worries and wishes.
  • The little things make the difference. Show affection and attention to your significant other .
  • Discover new things together. Curiosity counteracts the daily grind.
  • Who is responsible for which tasks in the household? Divide all activities fairly among you.
  • Be open about your needs and stay open to the other. This also applies to physical needs.
  • Laugh together and take life with a sense of humor – laughter is healthy and strengthens the bond with one another.

Find a new relationship in old age

Who as a single in retirement is gone, often wants a new relationship – more free time and less social contacts can be the need for a partnership aged are often larger. The need for physical closeness is … Read the rest

3 tips for a fulfilling love life in old age

The following three tips can have a positive influence on your love life in old age.

1. Communication as the key


Talk to your partner openly and honestly about new and changed wants and needs during sex. There are other ways in which you can pamper yourself physically and spend sensual hours as a couple, especially if it is no longer so easy for men to get an erection or women have problems with vaginal dryness.

Feel free to also address any fears and fears that you may have developed. An understanding partner will surely have an open ear and will be happy to work with you to find a solution.

An open discussion helps to clear up possible misunderstandings with regard to the common sex life and clears the way for you to new intimacy and closeness. Sex therapist Christina Graefe also advises open communication, “First of all: open your mouth. Nobody, young or old, has to experience pain during sex.

If the sexual encounter is aimed at making everyone involved happy and satisfied, then it should not be a problem to openly address wishes and ailments. After all, it’s a bit like yoga – for every position there are at least three equally good alternatives for different fitness levels. Not to mention aids such as lubricant, penis rings and humor.

Nevertheless, health impairments should also be clarified in the event of problems. If symptoms persist, specialists such as proctologists, urologists and gynecologists should be consulted. If organic causes can be ruled out, “in many cases competent sex therapists help to resolve any psychological blockages,” recommends Christina Graefe.

2. Sensual massages

Especially when it gets colder outside and the gray season begins, you can spend nice hours together with your partner. With a sensual massage, everything that the partner likes is allowed. Special massage oils are suitable for the massage, which warm up when rubbed and spray stimulating scents. A cozy atmosphere can also be created with special massage candles.

Basenio.de asked Omocha Dreams, the leading European online retailer for unusual sex toys from Japan and Korea , which fragrances are currently particularly popular. A spokesman for the shop told us: “We recommend the Shunga Massage Candle, for example, which smells wonderfully of chocolate. After a few minutes the oil in the candle has liquefied and can then be used as a massage oil for the body. “

3. Sex toys for couples


Often the love life just fell asleep a bit. Then it’s high time to try something completely new together. For a stimulating new experience, sex toys specifically designed for couples can be just the thing. These have long since lost their “dirty” reputation, today sex toys score with their aesthetic design and surprising functionality.

“Couple vibrators or pair dildos, for example, provide great pleasure for two,” reveals the spokesman for the erotic shop when asked He also has a tip: “For optimal use, we always recommend using a little lubricant. After having fun together, you can easily clean the toys with special toy cleaners.”

Professional sexual counseling and seminars

Couples often find it helpful if they look at their sex life together and potential problems from a new perspective. This works best with expert help provided by professional sexual counseling.

In the following video you can see a panel discussion on “Better sex in old age?” from the TV show “Nachtcafé” (SWR):

Christina Graefe also helps singles and couples with love and sex. On request, she explains how she does this.

“First of all, I look at people’s sexual conditioning. For many of us it looks similar after years of partnership: kissing, caressing, oral, penetrating and bang! Light off. The predictability of this process contributes significantly to the … Read the rest

Never in the mood for sex – the phenomenon of asexuality

Michelle is not interested in sex – and is completely satisfied with it. Nevertheless, she experiences closeness and intimacy. Asexuality has hardly been researched scientifically.

For most people, sexuality is a natural part of life, much like eating or sleeping. If you describe yourself as asexual, you will perceive it differently: Sex? Unimportant minor matter to disgusting. At best a curiosity that only affects others.

A bit like tiredness or hunger

Michelle sits in the grass on the Tempelhofer Feld in Berlin with a hand-rolled cigarette in her hand. It’s summer, warm, many people are outside today enjoying the good weather. Michelle is in her twenties. She has short hair, piercings and glasses. They shouldn’t be called “pretty”. She annoys that things like “even though she’s pretty, she doesn’t care about sex” are written about her. As if there was a connection. Michelle has a boyfriend. He’s not asexual, and she sleeps with him sometimes.

no sex needed to be happy

Her boyfriend gets along with the fact that while they are in love, Michelle is not particularly into sex. They are concerned with intimacy in a broader sense. Sometimes Michelle is physically aroused. But that has nothing to do with her boyfriend or any other person, it just happens – just as she is sometimes tired or hungry.

For many, definition means first of all: self-definition

Anyone who feels this way is asexual. The term appeared about 20 years ago when more and more people began to exchange ideas on the Internet, often anonymously in forums and later on social media channels.
The research deals with the phenomenon relatively briefly. The leading researcher in the field of asexuality is the Canadian psychologist Anthony Bogaert. His book “Understanding Asexuality” is the standard work in the field.

His own feelings are decisive for him – just like with any other sexual orientation. Feeling no sexual attraction is not in itself a disease or deficiency; many people experience this at least at times in their lives.

The Berlin sexologist and therapist Christoph Joseph Ahlers considers asexuality to be a normal phenomenon, even if it was not always as visible as it is today. Scientists perceived asexuality even before the Internet boom – just not under that name, explains Anthony Bogaert. Even famous American sexologist Alfred Kinsey has studied asexual people, calling them “Kinsey X’s” because they didn’t fit his famous 7-point scale.

Online forum AVEN

Today the “Aces”, as they also call themselves, meet in the online forum AVEN – that stands for Asexuality Visibility and Educational Network. It was founded by the American activist David Jay. AVEN now has over 60,000 members who use online forums to exchange information in several languages. The spectrum ranges from the so-called aromantics who do not want a couple relationship and generally avoid intimate body contact, to those who masturbate but do not want to have sex with others, to people who are in a relationship and sleep with their partner, such as Michelle.

The online community serves as an exchange and offers the opportunity to find out something about yourself and to be told: You are ok if it is ok for you. One platform even offers a self-test – for those who are unsure. Belonging to a group and feeling understood and accepted is one of our basic psychological needs. Since Michelle has known that she is not sick, she has accepted herself for who she is.

describe yourself as asexual

The hormone levels are normal in most asexual people. Also, physically, they have all the signs of sexual arousal, such as an erection or vaginal lubrication, so there is no organic disease. Only if someone completely avoids intimacy, regardless of the level, and therefore gives himself the label “asexual”, can there be … Read the rest

Improving sex in old age: a sex therapist gives 3 tips to get the love life of women and men going

How is sex in old age for men & women? Which tools are popular? Basenio.de spoke to a sex therapist and an operator of an online erotic shop about physical love in older people.

Do you think a fulfilling sex life is only for young women and men? You could be wrong about that. Many older people over the age of 60 confess that they only came to enjoy a truly fulfilling sex life in old age.

Because once the youthful pressure to perform is gone, you will consciously focus on what your partner and yourself really like in bed. Sex is by no means a question of age, it still plays a major role in our lives at 50, 60 or 70 years of age.

According to a study published in the British Medical Journal in 2010, a whopping 39% of men between the ages of 75 and 85 are still sexually active. For women, however, the proportion in this age group is significantly lower at just under 17%. Especially people who fall in love all over again in old age spend intimate hours together. But even a sleepy love life with your long-term partner can be revived with some advice and tips.

The true journey of discovery is not about exploring new landscapes, but about seeing old things with new eyes. – Quote from Marcel Proust

Love life in old age

Basenio.de spoke to Christina Graefe , a systemic sex therapist, couple counselor and alternative practitioner for psychotherapy, about sexuality in old age. In her own practice in Wiesbaden she advises couples and single people, writes a blog and gives lectures and group seminars on personal development. Many obstacles and problems arise in people as a result of age-typical changes in the body.

Christina Graefe confirms: “In this age group, erectile dysfunction in men and a lack of lubrication, i.e. moistening of the vagina, in women occur most frequently, which makes spontaneous sexuality more difficult. Of course, younger people occasionally struggle with these problems too. In the middle of life, however, the number of those affected increases by leaps and bounds, which is primarily due to hormonal causes. “

The therapist knows that these changes can lead to misjudgments in sexual behavior. “However, many people interpret the symptoms in such a way that they simply no longer feel like having their partner and as a result neglect their sex life together, resort to sexual enhancers or seek other stimulants.

Of course, this is usually not so good for the couple. When these people come to me, I first try to get them in the mood that everything is fine with both of them, but that they should acknowledge that their bodies and thus their sexuality have changed over time. So now it’s about discovering a new, age-appropriate sexuality. “

Men need sex even older

Changes in men with age

Age-related changes occur in men around the age of 40. The proportion of the male sex hormone, testosterone, drops in the blood level, which means that an erection develops more slowly than at a young age.

If in the past the mere sight of your partner was enough for an erection, now longer and stronger stimulation is necessary. Erectile dysfunction often occurs precisely because a man is afraid that he will no longer be able to fully satisfy the sexual needs of his partner. The gradual decline in sexual abilities is quite natural in men and no cause for shame at all.

By talking openly with your partner about the potency problems, you can put away your fears and become more relaxed and intimate again. Aids can also be used against erectile problems. The medical contact person should … Read the rest

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