The following three tips can have a positive influence on your love life in old age.
1. Communication as the key
Talk to your partner openly and honestly about new and changed wants and needs during sex. There are other ways in which you can pamper yourself physically and spend sensual hours as a couple, especially if it is no longer so easy for men to get an erection or women have problems with vaginal dryness.
Feel free to also address any fears and fears that you may have developed. An understanding partner will surely have an open ear and will be happy to work with you to find a solution.
An open discussion helps to clear up possible misunderstandings with regard to the common sex life and clears the way for you to new intimacy and closeness. Sex therapist Christina Graefe also advises open communication, “First of all: open your mouth. Nobody, young or old, has to experience pain during sex.
If the sexual encounter is aimed at making everyone involved happy and satisfied, then it should not be a problem to openly address wishes and ailments. After all, it’s a bit like yoga – for every position there are at least three equally good alternatives for different fitness levels. Not to mention aids such as lubricant, penis rings and humor.
Nevertheless, health impairments should also be clarified in the event of problems. If symptoms persist, specialists such as proctologists, urologists and gynecologists should be consulted. If organic causes can be ruled out, “in many cases competent sex therapists help to resolve any psychological blockages,” recommends Christina Graefe.
2. Sensual massages
Especially when it gets colder outside and the gray season begins, you can spend nice hours together with your partner. With a sensual massage, everything that the partner likes is allowed. Special massage oils are suitable for the massage, which warm up when rubbed and spray stimulating scents. A cozy atmosphere can also be created with special massage candles.
Basenio.de asked Omocha Dreams, the leading European online retailer for unusual sex toys from Japan and Korea , which fragrances are currently particularly popular. A spokesman for the shop told us: “We recommend the Shunga Massage Candle, for example, which smells wonderfully of chocolate. After a few minutes the oil in the candle has liquefied and can then be used as a massage oil for the body. “
3. Sex toys for couples
Often the love life just fell asleep a bit. Then it’s high time to try something completely new together. For a stimulating new experience, sex toys specifically designed for couples can be just the thing. These have long since lost their “dirty” reputation, today sex toys score with their aesthetic design and surprising functionality.
“Couple vibrators or pair dildos, for example, provide great pleasure for two,” reveals the spokesman for the erotic shop when asked He also has a tip: “For optimal use, we always recommend using a little lubricant. After having fun together, you can easily clean the toys with special toy cleaners.”
Professional sexual counseling and seminars
Couples often find it helpful if they look at their sex life together and potential problems from a new perspective. This works best with expert help provided by professional sexual counseling.
In the following video you can see a panel discussion on “Better sex in old age?” from the TV show “Nachtcafé” (SWR):
Christina Graefe also helps singles and couples with love and sex. On request, she explains how she does this.
“First of all, I look at people’s sexual conditioning. For many of us it looks similar after years of partnership: kissing, caressing, oral, penetrating and bang! Light off. The predictability of this process contributes significantly to the fact that many people no longer want to ‘bother’.
In addition, there are age-typical aspects such as feelings of shame because of the figure that is no longer very high-gloss or the loss of physical stamina. In such a situation, the most important thing is to change your perspective: “Do I really want more of the same thing, or couldn’t it also be exciting to discover something new?
After a phase of mourning and saying goodbye to their ‘old’, namely youthful, idea of good sex, many couples then set about exploring their ‘new’, age-appropriate sexuality with curiosity and the joy of experimentation. Many are rediscovering the sensitivity of their bodies all over again. “
Christina Graefe has always been able to report such findings from her practice. “’I would never have thought in my life that you were so into foot massages,’ a successful lover recently announced to his resurrected wife. The look she gave him then left no doubt that the two had experienced more than just good sex – they were intimate with each other, ”reveals the therapist.